I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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