your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize