I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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