The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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