Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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