My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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