dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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