just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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