dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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