I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
