If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
