Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
