Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
