Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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