I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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