As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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