Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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