If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
