pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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