R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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