We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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