I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
