You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize