I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
