well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
