Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
