is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
