Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
