When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
