she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The Olympian is in my bed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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