so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
