She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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