In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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