If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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