i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
