Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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