Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
