some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
