I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
