Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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