Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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