Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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