Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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