you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
