Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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