Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
