She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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