Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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