woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
