ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
