One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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