Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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