My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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