That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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