This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
