I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
