If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
