My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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