i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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