all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
