Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
