Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize