Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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