What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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